Mixing Business and Family: Fair or Foul?

This post is part of my Making It in Real Estate series, where I share the real, unfiltered moments that come with building a career in real estate. From client wins to personal lessons, this series documents the day to day experiences that shape my journey as a REALTOR®.
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Today’s topic? One that’s personal and honestly, a little painful. Let’s talk about what happens when family doesn’t hire you for the job you’re fully qualified to do.

I’m in a Facebook group where women in real estate come together to vent, share stories, trade tips, and celebrate wins. It’s one of those spaces that reminds you you’re not alone in this business.

Recently, someone shared a post that stopped me in my tracks.
She said a very close family member of hers closed on a $3 million home, and she didn’t find out until after the deal was already done.
And she’s a REALTOR®.
Just like me.

Her post wasn’t angry.
It was honest. And it felt so familiar. Because I’ve been there.

I’ve had family members tell me they were ready to buy.
They showed me their pre-approvals.
We signed paperwork. We had conversations.
Then they went silent.
And I’d find out later they rented or bought a home without me.

The reasons are always the same.
“Oh, I didn’t know you handled rentals.”
Or “I didn’t want to mix family and business.”
Or sometimes, no reason at all.

Let me be clear.
I do this for a living. This is not a side hustle.
This is how I support myself, how I build, how I grow.
And more than anything, I actually want to help the people I love. I want to be part of their journey.
So yes, it hurts when they don’t come to me.
Especially when I’ve made it clear what I do.
Especially when I’ve gone above and beyond for clients I don’t even know.And somehow, the people closest to me don’t think to reach out.

What many people don’t realize is that becoming a REALTOR® isn’t just a title you claim, it’s a license that comes from the state. Technically, we’re government-regulated professionals. We have to complete pre-licensing courses, pass a state exam, take post-licensing courses, and continue our education year after year to stay active and in good standing. We’re required to know the laws, stay updated on new policies, and uphold a strict code of ethics. Your family member isn’t just “trying this out.” They’re qualified, licensed, and committed to doing the work the right way.

Some of my colleagues say things like “It happens” or “Don’t take it personally.” Others say “That’s why you don’t mix family with business.”
But here’s the truth. It hurts.
And it’s okay to say that.
It’s okay to grieve the deal and the relationship you thought you had.

When you’re a small business owner, when you’re the one building something from the ground up, it’s personal.
You carry your work with your heart.
You show up with your time, your effort, your name.

And when your name doesn’t even come up in the conversation, that cuts deep.

This isn’t just about real estate.
This is for the hairstylists whose family books with strangers.
The photographers who see friends hire someone else.
The chefs, the travel agents, the nail techs, the designers.
The people doing real work and wondering why the people closest to them don’t seem to see their value.

So if you’ve ever felt that sting, if you’ve ever been passed over, if you’ve found out too late, just know this.
You’re not alone.
And you’re not wrong for wishing things had gone differently.

What we can do is keep showing up with excellence.
Keep doing the work.
Keep becoming the kind of professional even strangers can trust.
And maybe, eventually, the people we love will catch up.

We can continue to show up for the clients who do choose us.

So what do you think?
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Is it just business? Or does it still hurt when it’s family? Let’s talk about it.